Heh...
Journal Entry: Mon Feb 18, 2008, 8:54 PM
You know what's so fucking crappy?
This sounds so gay right now but I just wanna' let out my feelings.
My cat (Yeah, I'm ranting about something as gay as a cat so you can leave and not read if you want) ran away. About 5 days ago. My mom's all blaming herself because she let her out at 5AM and it just makes me feel so mad. We found both of our cats in Florida in the middle of nowhere(a white and gray cat). We didn't name them yet but they're still kittens and I think they're too good for names. We've had them since August.The gray one was quiet and shy and I picked her out out of the 5 that we found. My brother chose the white one which is loud and beautiful. I had them for a few months but I didn't know I started to love them and took them both for granted. But on Valentine's day my mom let her out because she kept meowing to go outside. She never came back. I prayed every day for her to come back so I could see her again. I prayed that I'd give up anything, like drawing, to have her come back. Every night I went out for 1-2 hours before I went to sleep and whistled and called her. And she really did come back. Yesterday at night. She was just standing there in my neighbor's bush. I ran after her feeling happy that God listened to me. But when I chased after her, she ran so fucking far. Like she hated me. Then I started crying...
I hate it when I cry. It's like some sort of stupid weakness. But she just ran anyway. I don't know why. I chose her and loved her and never did anything bad. Maybe I did... because now that she's missing, I think everything that I did was bad...
So...the white cat's still with us... I still go out everyday and call for the gray cat to come back. And it sucks. Because at first I was so sad and started crying for so long. But then I just got mad.
Y'know when you read a book and some person loses a pet or something? I think it's the gayest thing that they started crying and stuff but that's because I didn't know what it felt like. But now I do. I saw them as my like...my little sisters. I treated them like people because they have feelings. And then she just ran away. I ran for like half an hour chasing after her but she kept running. I don't know what I did wrong...
Sorry for making it so long. ;_; You don't have to read it...
- Mood:
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hello there my friend...
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